Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” 

– Eleanor Roosevelt.

Different things come to mind in the quest to define what makes a beautiful woman. While some will say it is her outstanding and attractive physical features, others will say the character and charm (inner qualities) make a woman beautiful. What do you think makes you a beautiful woman? Yes, you who are reading this article at the moment!

a woman lips painted in orange lipstick with water running over her face
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What Makes a Beautiful Woman?

Beauty is a subjective terminology. It can mean the process through which the various parts like physical appearance, inner strength, charm, skills, passions, and character work together to give a pleasurable outcome. 

Usually, we hear tales and watch movies that emphasize inner beauty as the most important virtue to imbibe. Therefore, we pretend that outer beauty does not have a say in the matter. However, this is not how the real-world works; beauty is usually measured by what is seen outside.

Women are usually the target of these beauty stereotypes, where society expects them to look a certain way. If a woman isn’t physically attractive, she is seen as ugly. If she is beautiful, she is seen as an airhead or dull.

Actions of a Beautiful Woman

Using Michelle Obama as a case study, she portrays a beautiful woman outside and in. Despite malicious comments about her physical appearance (color, height, hair, etc.), she remains confident and unstoppable. Michelle is a role model to women in the US and other parts of the world. Her successful career, fashion sense, and elegance are traits to admire. 

She Creates Her Definition of Beauty

To feel beautiful as a woman, you must design a beauty prototype that defines what beauty means to you. This should differ from what the world thinks or displays in various beauty magazines. The best model for this design ought to be you.

She Has Control Over Her Mind

Thoughts are very important parts of shaping one’s life. The way you navigate your thought (positively or negatively) will determine the outcome you get. Visualize beauty, and you will be engulfed by this feeling and look it. It is your choice to believe, see, and feel; no one can do that for you.

a lady with a beautiful happy smile
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She is Playful and Smiles Easily

It is not the best idea to take things seriously all the time. Unwind with others and have a good time. This makes you attractive to yourself and the people around you. It also helps to remain beautiful and stay young.

Besides using the best makeup products money can buy, a smile goes a long way. Smiling a lot will make you look younger, beautiful, and attractive.

She Celebrates Her Every Wins

Self-love is a vital virtue every woman should cultivate. Make it a habit to celebrate your achievements no matter how little they are. Do not let them pass uncelebrated if you get a new apartment, car, or job. Take time to treat yourself to something special for your hard work.

She Takes Care of Herself

Eating right and exercising are ways you can take care of yourself to maintain your beauty. Doing these things will help you remain confident with what you have outside and in. Also, having a great fashion sense helps pronounce every minute you care for your body.

Impact of Resilience and Courage on Beauty

Resilience is having the patience and trusting the process of the path you choose. It stems from the things learned from your experiences that no one can take away from you. In the same light, courage can be likened to resilience. Courage is having the confidence or insight of taking action to overcome challenges. 

black and white picture of three ladies wrapping their arms around

There is nothing more beautiful than a woman who is a fighter and accepts whatever curve life throws without letting it control her. She is proud of how she looks, speaks, thinks, acts, and dares to be herself in whatever gathering or situation she finds herself.

Only you can decide to remain resilient and courageous as no one can do that for you. You can be your best friend or worst enemy; you have to decide which path you would like to thread. Of course, there will be trying times, discouragement, and even self-doubt. However, pushing yourself despite these setbacks makes you more beautiful.

Know when to take risks, constantly remind yourself of your strengths, and entertain discomfort. All of these would help you build the courage and resilience to keep looking beautiful.

Final Thoughts

Own whatever you do, and you will realize that beauty is you, and you are beauty. Being confident in everything can help channel the right (positive) energy. 

The moment you look into the mirror and see beauty staring back at you, you become unstoppable. Learn to see how beautiful you are outside, and no one will be able to take it away from you.

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

“If compassion does not include yourself, it’s incomplete”.  

the word compassion
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How many times have you been kind to others, and tried to alleviate their sufferings all along neglecting your own suffering? 

We, as women have been conditioned and taught since birth to serve others specifically men in this patriarchal society, and we do so all our life. Each of us, serve our fathers, brothers, partners, sons, colleagues, and even strangers. We bend backwards to help others, to be there for everyone, to alleviate their sufferings, and do anything in our power to ease their worries, even if it cost us our peace.

But, What if we offered ourselves the same love and kindness, we strive to offer others?

Could we for once try to be self-compassionate and put ourselves first? Tell me what stops us from being kind to ourselves, watching out for our personal safety, from accepting, embracing, and loving ourselves?  

It’s not like we don’t know how to be self-compassionate; we just don’t permit ourselves to be self-compassionate. For some reason, we deem this as an expense rather than a necessity. So, let’s take a look at self-compassion and its components.

What is the essence of self-compassion?

black and white seated person holding hands
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For most of us, self-compassion may seem like a splendour rather than a need — or even an ultra-modern craze for people with an excess of free time on their hands.

In specialist literature, the terms “self-compassion” and “self-love” are often used correspondingly. Having more self-compassion upsurges adaptability and strength when facing tragedy, consenting individuals to recuperate more rapidly from suffering. It also assists you in coping with disappointment, guilt or shame in a more effective manner.

Sbarra and colleagues, portrayal on the work of Prof. Neff, define self-compassion as a concept that consists of three constituents: forgiveness, acceptance, and compassion.

Compassion for oneself – treating oneself with appreciation and forgiveness.

Acknowledgement – accepting the fact that people are imperfect and personal views are a part of the broader human experience.

Emotional equilibrium and the avoidance of over identification with unpleasant emotions – for which mindfulness is recommended.

Identifying Self-compassion

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We women have an ocean of love and a valley of care in us, but we do not give a drop of it to ourselves. Most people link self-compassion with being soft and delicate, yet Prof. Neff presents the essence of self-compassion in her book by these strong words that, “self-compassion” maybe both, intense and delicate at the same time. Being delicate with oneself entails “being with” yourself in an accepting manner such as:

Soothing yourself in pain

Telling yourself that you are not alone

Embracing and supporting yourself

Acknowledging pain

Being present with your sorrow

These are all instances of delicate self-compassion.

Taking Action

To relieve suffering is intense self-compassion and it usually entails:

  1. Safeguarding
  2. Caring for
  3. Stimulating one’s well-being
  4. Setting limits and healthy boundaries to protect yourself
  5. Saying no without explaining yourself
  6. Standing up for one’s self
  7. Doing the things you love unapologetically

The Importance of Self-compassion

“Being supportive and kind to yourself, especially in the face of stress and failure- is associated with more motivation and better self-control”

— Kelly McGonigal

Self-compassion is a great approach to improve both your intrapersonal and interpersonal well-being. You are better equipped to deal with life’s challenges when you are conscious of your suffering. A loving, integrated, and peaceful state of mind and soul helps to lessen behavioral problems while simultaneously improving happiness and purpose in life.

Self-compassion serves as a portable source of companionship and support. In contrast to self-esteem, self-compassion is a reliable ally in both excellent and terrible circumstances. To enhance your capacity to heal, you need to embrace yourself with the same compassion that you’ve been giving to others. 

To practice self-compassion, you must treat yourself with the same care and concern that you would show to family, friends, strangers in need. In the face of aversities and failures, you must react with self-forgiveness, kindness, self-compassion rather than harsh self-criticism, understanding that imperfection is a part of the shared human experience.

We all make errors and fail. We all are inadequate at times. Sometimes we can’t help or be there for others even if we want to. No, not because we are selfish but because we are self-compassionate.

Be Self-compassionate

a transparent glass timer
Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Pexels.com

Self-compassion is not an innate trait rather it’s a conscious behavioral practice that grows each time you care about yourself. I hope you practice self-compassion and see the transformative changes in your life. Once you become self-compassionate, you embrace your flaws as beauty and find your true self.

So, promise yourself to be self-compassionate from this moment forward, not because you have to but because you care.

by Beatrice

“None of us can know what we are capable of until we are tested.”

Dr. Elizabeth Blackwell

In 1926, 19-year-old Gertrude Ederle swam across the English Channel in 14 hours and 34 minutes. Her time was 1-hour and 59 minutes faster than the previous men’s record.

But before she broke this record, she had been wrongfully disqualified in 1925 when her coach had her recovered from the Channel because he thought she was drowning. But instead of taking this setback to heart, Gertrude tried her luck again. Her resilience propelled her through the icy waters and right into the record books.

Not only had she broken the men’s record, but she also inspired numerous women like Florence Chadwick, who would break her record in 1950. Gertrude Ederle and countless other women in history serve as a reminder that women can change their stories for the better.

You see, the world will always throw punches at you. It could be a failed audition, the loss of a loved one, a bad break-up, or the onset of an addiction. Either way, you need to dust yourself off and keep going.

Why Is Resilience Important?

Resilience is your ability to bounce back and adapt to change. It does not erase the difficulties or the feelings of grief, distress, and anxiety. Instead, it allows you to survive tough times. Think of it as a form of self-preservation. It enables you to push past a situation that could be detrimental to your health, mental wellness, and success.

For most women, resilience is not just the ability to get back up. It is a journey through which they reconnect with themselves. It is a chance for them to learn their strengths, discover their inner beauty and become the best versions of themselves. The world around you may be indifferent to your problems, but you need to deal with them head-on. Resilience shines a light into whatever dark space you are stuck in.

Gertrude could have chosen to wallow in self-pity and watch her potential drain away (especially since most people did not believe that a woman could swim so far). But instead, she tried again. So, whenever you feel yourself shy away from adversity, ask yourself, what is the trade-off?

Will you be trading in your dreams for a comfortable but unfulfilling life? Or are you trading in your confidence, independence, self-esteem, happiness, and stability?

By developing a spirit of resilience, you will shift your perception and respond accordingly to difficult situations. So, instead of trading in your dreams, your self-image, confidence, and happiness, you can choose to grow during a period of uncertainty.

The Face Of Resilience

A red flower growing on a train rail

So what does resilience look like, and do you have the potential for it?

Well, resilient women embody a collection of traits and actions that help them recover from difficulty. These traits include optimism, gratitude, a positive self-image, emotional intelligence, and an internal locus of control. Granted, these traits don’t come naturally to many women. This could be because of traumatic experiences that make it difficult to find strength.

Similarly, depression, anxiety, and unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drinking make it harder to develop a can-do attitude. But the good news is that you can overcome this. As Maya Angelou says:

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud. Do not complain. Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.” -Letter to My Daughter

Resilience is like a muscle… it just needs some practice.

Nurturing Resilience, Beauty, And Growth

Everything will be okay

During stressful periods you can experience: mood changes, disrupted sleeping patterns, poor digestion, memory loss, weight fluctuation, and low self-esteem.

This can impact your internal system, making you susceptible to hypertension, heart diseases and other stress-related ailments. In addition to this, you may experience long periods of depression and be too distracted to take proper care of yourself. As a result, your body may show signs of neglect and health problems. You are likely to look exhausted and run down, which affects your self-esteem and confidence. But once your resilient nature kicks in, your outlook will change and allow you to take better care of yourself. Here’s how.

This can impact your internal system, making you susceptible to hypertension, heart diseases and other stress-related ailments. In addition to this, you may experience long periods of depression and be too distracted to take proper care of yourself. As a result, your body may show signs of neglect and health problems. You are likely to look exhausted and run down, which affects your self-esteem and confidence. But once your resilient nature kicks in, your outlook will change and allow you to take better care of yourself. Here’s how.

A. Self-Care

self care tiles

You can reclaim your beauty and grow by creating a self-care routine that includes a beauty regimen and calming sensory experiences like yoga and listening to music. Self-care habits such as getting enough sleep, eating better, exercising and grooming yourself improve your energy levels, control your mood and boost your self-esteem.
It may seem vain, but taking good care of your body can help you feel more beautiful and confident in your abilities.

B. Boosting Resilience
It is hard to think clearly when you are down. Luckily, there are a couple of things you can do to boost your strength.

Stay optimistic – A positive mindset reduces stress, allowing you to think clearly and make decisive decisions. It also encourages productivity and reduces negative thought cycles.

Manage stress – Stress management keeps your body and mind healthy. You can manage your stress levels by getting enough sleep, exercising, journaling, and doing breathing exercises.

Practice an internal locus of control – You should distinguish between things you can control and those you cannot. This allows you to focus on the things you can directly impact like your feelings, thoughts and actions. You can then create a realistic plan and improve your sense of resilience and control.

Accept failure – Failure is a part of any process. But instead of taking it to heart, treat it as a form of positive feedback. You can then work on improving your coping strategy.

C. Sharing Your Experiences
Women find strength through shared experience. As the saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved. According to a study by Avon, 32% of women said that shared experiences gave them the strength to overcome difficulties. A further 36% said that sharing their stories helped reduce feelings of anxiety and self-doubt. Sharing your situation with others can provide some insight and helpful ideas. Plus, you can be a listening ear to someone who needs it.

a lady pointing her finger with an expression of you got this

You Got This

Resilience thrives in chaos. Despite how bad it gets, remind yourself that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. The trick is to look beyond the pain and the hurt and visualize a life full of happiness, fulfillment, and success.

So, dust yourself off, you’ve got this!

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